Blueberyy boyyss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4OTPzSYKOc

skins, crystal castles, NiN fans and homeless one-liners

I watched 2 full seasons of skins over the past couple days, and its pretty good. I'd say check it out if your into british swearing, drug/alcohol use, fornication and good music.

Last night I went to crystal castles who opened for nine inch nails. I dont like nine inch nails very much and only recognized 2 of the songs, but they did have a cool light show. The sad part was that the people barely cheered for crystal castles. I mean the whole friggin saddledome was packed, and me and one other friend had to start every cheer. Calgary people make awesome bands feel bad, hence why cool bands dont like coming here. But regardless, its always fun to see your favorite bands playing live to see how tall they really are. (Always over 6-feet)

Anyways, CC ended up doing like a 6-7 song set, where alice glass the singer even apologized to the crowd, which made me feel so bad for them. Calgary sucks. I can't blame everybody too too much, cause nine inch nails is pretty generic, and CC is an underground dance band, but they could have at least danced a little to humor them. Don't just stand there and stare at them like idiots.

On that note, Nine inch nails fans all look like this.....It's like your generic dude. Always with a hat, sunglasses, those stupid mid 90's converse shoes, a t-shirt with a band logo or non-funny catchy phrase, shorts and opposable"truck". They don't talk much, think they're better then everyone, make asshole comments, have one syllable names like "Joe" or "Dave" and have eventually get forearm tattoos that is rather some black cross symbol or a phrase like "Live another day". They also always have girl friends that they don't look like they deserve. So I went to a concert full of those guys. But lets move on to a lighter note. Homeless people :)Homeless People are found through-out the earth, and with that, their catchy lines to try and get you to toss some coinage. Some of them will do the long drawn out life story, and those i'm not so easy to give up dough to, but a select few have created the right set of words to get me going. So what is your favorite homeless line?

Even just last night, i was approached by one who said "Could I trade ya a fine for a wheel?" I mean its not bad; cause at least it gets you thinking, "huh?" and that right there alone is worth the 35 cents. There was one I heard that was like "I have 47 cents, how much do you have?" This was key, because the homeless man set out a challenge for me, and one that I was forced to succeed at (therefore giving him 50 cents). What a smart guy.

The moral here, is don't give money to the homeless unless they make you think "what the frick?" in the process, and that includes not being able to understand what they said to begin with.

I drank alot, and want to sleep. Goodbye

Well that'tll do-er folks

Dance music is here for now, but the death of indie rock has come.

Remember when bands like bloc party, the shins, dfa, deathcab and metric were the biggest shits out? like 2004. I remember those good ol'days.

well now its the middle of 08' those bands have washed up and it seems as though Djs/bands Justice, Crystal Castles, MGMT and MSTRKRFT have taken over. (as well as the growing trend to remove vowels)

anyways the reason this is a final big deal is the only idol/savour i had left for rock and roll "sebastien grainger" has recorded new dance tracks and has become a DJ himself, most likely ditching his current stuff in the process if this new stuff succeeds (which it will)http://hypem.com/artist/data+feat++sebastien+grainger

question lingering though is whats next? cause word on the street is that dance will be out by 10'

maybe rap will make a come back, or maybe some crazy future ambient space music like gary numan was making back in the day. Anyways, ittl have to stay pretty H-core, so the hipsters still have a reason to wear ripped jeans. Personally I really hope disco returns :D

-out

Da blog will resume for now

by popular request the friendship blogz is bax for a bit..

so what has happened in the last like 3 months? Did aerosmith finally win world champion? Is there a reason that we all wake up with new mysterious big scratches on our arms? Answers to these questions and more in the coming future!

anyways, without a real job for a couple weeks and now that im carrying child, I get to finally rest up and start poopin dem pants again

CELEBRITY LOOKALIKES

who do you look like?

well according to http://www.myheritage.com/ I look like:

Yoko ono, also known as the destruction of the beatles, and/or MILF

thanks for playin. PCE!

Best fight scene ever

be sure to listen what theyre fighting over


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqKFadyJxwg&eurl=http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/forbidden_kingdom/news/1722234/14.php

if someone asks you to put on the glasses, just do it.

Someone changed my past! WTF WTF

http://namesdatabase.com/schools/CA/AB/Calgary/F%20E%20Osborne%20Jr%20High%20School


check out under class of 2003 haha FE OSBORNE YO WHAT?!!!!!!!!!

best part is only 4 other people graduated with me!

ISE BES TSOOOO SMARTZZ!????

starcade! and lies!

As much fun as it is to laugh at awkward teens, corny 80s fashion, and hilariously dated parting gifts, there’s something genuinely compelling about Starcade. There’s no denying that the thick patina of nostalgia that coats Starcade informs much of my appreciation, but it’s also a pretty solid game show on its own terms–interesting contestants, a host that keeps the game moving, and stakes that you care about. I was seriously crushed when a contestant flubbed his chance to win a Tron arcade machine in the final round of one episode.

Most importantly, it’s not condescending, treating video game competition seriously, but without trying to elevate it with comparisons to pro sports, or drowning it in marketing nonsense. I simply cannot imagine Starcade existing today without energy-drink endorsements and radically challenging on-air personalities.

So yeah, I highly recommend you spend your weekend working your way through all of the episodes of Starcade that are available on the official Starcade website–believe me, it’s not hard. If you need me, I’ll be killing you.

the greatest song

http://www.myspace.com/killcheerleader

princess ann

THE ROCK CAME BACK!! YAYAYAYYAY

im not sure if i agree with his new entrance though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4Wxe0ET2l4&eurl=http://www.giantbomb.com/

ahhh gawd HAHA

Sometimes, I like to try to make others laugh. Rarely do others make me laugh.

So its a really special moment when I can find something so stupid that it can make us all laugh together.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atx2yR_UfUaFtSsD3i0QGs4jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20080321113357AAJ4YmW

"How to approach a cat?"

"Sometimes I'm just walking along and see a cat outside someone's house and I'd like to pet it. How do I approach it? How do I go about petting it and where? Should I kneel down?"

i'm going to puke.

Hot celebz

Here are some celebs I find attractive to the touch.

Everyone in this picture is a "hotz celebz"

Oh man, look at all of those "hotz celebz" xxxxxxxxxzzzzzzzzzzzcccccccccccc

the podcast

http://emotionalfeedback.mypodcast.com/


yoyoyoyo!

wicked

I was at my mom's house and had her send me some vids of me when I was a baby, and found the most wicked one.

I uploaded it onto youtube enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCU1U-42vfQ

Small Update*

There will be a podcast coming in the near future.

No more reading, you'll just hear sensual voices.

FINAL KOMBAT pt 4 best of list. 4-1

That's it, it finally time for the top 4 bestests and most powerfuleststs champions of kombat. Are you ready? IM NOT

#4. Fujin

Fujin was introduced into the series in the sub-zero mythology games, which was infact one of the first games that I sat down and completed in my young native american youth. Some people say fujin can blow up a balloon with his godlike wind powers in under 2 seconds, but actually the speed title is still held by "smat smat, diene spiele katze fratz". Besides workin dem hoes he is also the protector of earthrealm, a.k.a makes sure we don't die, so give this guy respect or he might pull off another holocaust with his ponytail thats as long as my dong. His weapon used to be a crossbow, but after the makers found out how gay that was, they gave him a big ass mace, but we all know his really weapon is anger. Watch out cause fugin fujin is not fudgin around.





#3. Sub-Zero


WHAT THE FUCK. WHY ISN'T HE #1! Thats right, sub-zero gets the number 3 spot on this outrageous list. The fact of the matter is that there are really two sub-zeroes, with endless possibilities for the future so theres not really a dude to cheer for here. Even you and me could oneday be sub-zero...well not you but, I could be frikidy freeze himself. Some downfalls include that girl sub-zero frost which I think is basically just gay, and in the end made him slightly less cool. nuff said. Sub-zero became probably one of the easiest characters to use due to his special traits and was the only character you could beat goro with in MK:2 (hard mode). He can be given the title of coolest looking ninja in the history of life, but also the title of worst fatality. (He tosses the tiniest snow ball at the dude, who then blows up). It is just not satisfying. He comes with the good, and also some bad, makin him a solid numba 3.


#2. Scorpion

Well the day finally came where I put forth slightly more regard for scorpion then sub-zero. Who knew id betray such a close friend. Overall and over the course of the series, scorpion has never changed his mission statement. He's fuckin evil, likes to yell shit, and you can never kill him cause he'll somehow return in ghost form and just be an annoying piece of shit to deal with over and over again, forever. Probably my most favorite thing about scorpion are his sayings such as Get Over Here, Get Down Here, and my least favorite, Get Out. He could really just scream stuff the whole match cause it would fit his character, but the makers had to draw the line somewhere... Scorpion also has the fastest sweep kick out of any character in any game. You can probably link 5 to 6 consecutive sweep kicks on a regular basis while the other player throws his controller at the T.V. smashing it everywhere and then stomps on your arms. The moral is that you can choose to play scorpion, but if you do youre a cheater.

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#1. Raiden

Raiden is god.

When I can finish 4 different games with him using only one move, you know that something awesome has been born. Back Back Forward punch, Back Back Forward Punch, over and over and over and over. Just to hear him scream while he's flying through the air gives me a bonner straight away. One thing most people don't know is that raiden's throw radius is huge. You could be standing at the opposite end of the arena, and I could still grab you and throw you. There's just no complaints here...well besides that short haired dude that played him in MK: Aninihilation, but besides that this is the greatest and most powerful of all the Mortal Kombat characters and any new ones.

*ALSO CHECK THIS OUT

This site (official site of Ed boon) has a mysterious countdown on it, leading people to believe that he is about the announce the next generation MK game. Who knows what the fuck is gonna happen next.

http://www.noob.com/

And yes, its finally here.... MORTAL KOMBAT 3: DEVASTATION! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293429/

MK PT 3! best of list. 9-5

It's tough workin 9-5! Mah bebe is fatz, and has da too manies wormz in da face EEWWWWW. Here is the continued list of the greatest fighters in MK history.

#9. Smoke

All I can say when it comes to smoke is what the fuck. I remember losing to him in MK:2 once in a life time cause he was a secret character along with jade. Then he was in Mk:3 as a cyborg, and then was missing from MK:4. Then in the some of the future games he was combined with saibot. Smoke is a faggorz and isn't even good, he's just an annoyance on the mind and a big enough one to be this high on the list.


#8. Noob Saibot

Now for one of the cooler ninja's Saibot himself. Did you know backwards his name is Tobias Boon, and the makers of the MK series were named Ed boon and John Tobias? Wild. Wild thang.

Saibot was actually the original sub-zero before he later on joined some dark brotherhood, so if you're ever playing the oringal MK-MK2, youre actually playing as noob. Thats's why the sub-zero in MK:3 is a totally different dude with no mask who became the new sub-zero. DID YOU KNOW THAT? I DIDNT UNTIL I LOOKED IT UP! That means saibot actually has the moves of both sub-zero and shadow shit, making him sick wit it.

#7. Reptile

Reptile winzzzz. Mean and Green live in color, you just know this dude is serious. He's a frigen lizard and spits acidic mucus at your face, are you kidding me? In the original games he appeared to be a green ninja, and shocked the world when he took off his mask during a fatality to grab the other dudez head with his tongue and rip that shit off. He also had the ability to go invisible which was the cheapest crap, and kinda stupid cause the person controlling him usually forgot where he was too. Besides that reptile is a solid pick, just dont lick his dick.

#6. Goro

Aww fuck its goro, get the fuck out. If you ever had the chance to go up against goro, you know that he was usually 3 times harder then the final boss in any of the games. He has the cheapest moves, and they take so much damage off that you scream. He's up on the list because of these facts, and will be remembered as a tough CPU controlled MOFO. In the MK movie when johnny cage punches his nads he starts crying, making it one of cinematics most hilarious scenes.

#5. Liu Kang

YEAHH MANNNN. Kangz in town, and he's pissed. I don't know why they killed him later on in the series and brought him back as a zombie cause gay that. Over the series, liu kang had enough special type moves, that anyone playing him never even had to kick or punch. Besides his bruce lee type sound rip offs, he also had some of the best finishers in the game, including turning into a dragon and dropping an arcade machine on his opponents head. Did you know he was also trained by Bo'rai cho? gay. If they ever make another movie, they gotta use the same guy again, I don't care how old he is.

Mortal Kombat best of list. 14-10

The countdown continues, as we finally find out who is better then who in all aspects of moda fugin KOMBAT.

#14. Sektor & Cyrax

Thats right you slut, I grouped these fucks together, making them both #14 on the list. Don't agree? Then pce out. There's nothing really too special about these dudes other then the fact that they are robots, and have cool names. Something you might not know is Cyrax is actually a black dude, but something you will know is his moves are gay. Cyrax can basically trap you in a green net, or shoot bombs out of his chest...thats it. Sektor kinda of follows in the same boat. Because he's red and has lazerz daggzorz he is a little bit cooler, but his moves (firing missles out of his chest) are just as gay. You would only pick them because you wanna be a cyborg for awhile, but then you realize how lame it is, and if you don't have techno music in the background, its just way way worse.


#13. Kenshi

So now we finally can get into some characters worth mentioning, starting with kenshi. Playing this guy was always weird, cause he's blind and you're not, so you could always see the action just the same. They should insert some weird mechanic so that if you select him, that you can't always see what is going on in the fight, but to compensate you just make him really strong. It will never happen so fuck off. Besides being a fun swordsman to play, kenshi also has telekinetic powas, and when he was first introduced into the series, he was the most powerful player you could choose.

#12. Johnny Cage

Johnny cage is pretty much the most well rounded character in the whole series. He's a cool guy to meet and is my best friend. Half the reason he's up on the list have to do with the sound his hyper ballz make. It's probably the coolest sound in anything and i'm personally able to mimic it with my mouth after years of training. Plus this dudes got shadow kicks, shadow kicks are rad. Johnny cage punches dicks, Johnny cage gets the ladies, and Johnny cage would make a great dad.

#11. Jax

Crikidy Crax, Jax to the Max. In MK:2, the only chracter I would choose to beat the game with was jax..up till goro. This was because his finisher was the easist shit ever, and I want to see him clap everyone's head off. I would never choose jax now, nor will I ever again, but we had some good times. I'm sure he could school me in any sports competition because he looks athletic. He now plays for the bengals and we wish him all the luck with that SUPERBOWLZ.

#10. Kung Lao

I don't care what people say, kung lao is the shit. Even though everyone plays him because they think throwing sharp hats is cool, I play him because I wanna throw his hat hard. Kung lao is what Id call raiden's most notorius rival, besides like fujin and Shang Tsung and a few others...cause they look alike? If you catch him on a good day, he'll maybe teleport too, so that makes him kinda cool right there. He's not really known for much cept for throwing the hat, and that whole idea was stolen from oddjob (James Bond movies) but w/e..Kung lao will kick yo ass.

MORTAL KOMBAT MUTHA FUCKA Best of list. 20-15

You has beef? You betta shut it before I get mah bro sub-zero to freeze your face. If dat don't ride, I'll call up mah dogg jax from his new job at NFL to come rip off your stupid arms. If you into the swank? Spill to mileena, but not before she sucks yo ass up and spits you out bones. I'm talking straight up MK you snailsnappa.

Well all know about the kombats of mortals, and are familiar with our favorite characters, so I decided to get into the best of the best and rank em based on awesomeness in a list of out 20.

#20. Bo'rai cho

Bo'rai cho, otherwise known as fat drunk piece of shit gets the bottom of the cool list. He was not in the original MK games, and made his first debut in Deadly Alliance, THAT'S 3D FOLKS! Even though people hate his guts, they can't help but try him out at least once. Why did he even make the list you ask? Simply because one of his finishers is tremendous. He backs up, jumps into the air and then belly flops on to the guy who then responds by exploding, followed by screaming even after he has exploded. But good luck trying to even do it, because most of the time you'll just lose the match due to his suck.

#19. Baraka

Ever think why that obama campaigning shit is so popular? It's got nothing to do with people and politics and money and all that hasafras. Friken baraka is the reason. He's on the list because in MK:2 he was the cheapest character to pick, and easiest character to beat the game with, and hardest CPU character to face. He was also one of the few characters in the MK series to not have any throwing type spells, but instead used his only his armblades of steel. People often feel baraka is misunderstood or is actually good, but really he's just a bald fag that looks like a shark.

#18. Shang Tsung

Moda fugin Shang Tsung. I always wondered why people didn't pick him more often, with his pretty well rounded character strenghs, the power to steal souls and the ability to shapeshift into the rest of the cast. Those reason's alone are largely what make him #18, but really it was that epic fighting scene at the end of MK:the movie with the music goin. Very trendy. The truth is nobody picks him cause nobody remembers or wants to remember how to to turn into their favorite character. By the time you figure it out, yo ass is deadz.

#17. Sindel

Hot ass sindel with her old ass titties. She's on the list cause she screams pretty good. That's it. Never play as her.

#16. Kano

Kano is cool, cause kano is a badass. He likes to beat up girls, swear and speak in accents. In the movie theres a scene where him and sonya are battling and he has her held up against him, and he accidently spits on her face. That scene alone made the movie 10 times better and kano worthy of such a list. I didn't even realize kano wasn't in MK:2 till a couple days ago; probably because if he was, Id never pick his suck ass anyways. Pains the name of the gamo, undertaker vs kano.

#15. Stryker

Alright well obviously half is coolness straight away is his name. Secondly he just looks like a cool guy to hang out with, what with his backwards cap and humanoid weapons. He was known best for being a cheap character in MK:3 and having one of the best combos that would basically kill the other dude real fast. I never picked him though cause grenades are gay when you can use magic. Blue shirt though, pretty shocking.

So thats todays countdown, the rest have been figured out and are comin soon.

DragonBall Movie: Release date April.3rd/09

So finally them bitches are making a DB movie. Now we know its not as cool or popular as DBZ, but there are still plenty ballz, alienz, fightingz and a dragonz which just makes any subject fantastic.

All I gotta say is cartoons along with games that are made into movies are suck, mostly because of the fact that they are made by the White man trying to make an extra buck off a famous licensed product. There are a couple exceptions here and there, like transformers, and the X-men series but does that mean we're taking a turn in the quality of these type of remakes?.....not on christs life.

So instead of ripping on the subject, I thought id thought Id show the actors, and who they are portraying to see if they at least did a half decent job.

CAST:

Goku

First off the man himself Goku played by Justin chatwin. Well I should actually say kid Goku, because you have to remember this is DragonBall we're talking about here...

First complaints is using the Caucasians. We all know I hate white skin, but this is a Japanese product here, and I just assumed while watching that they were all Japs. Boo to that.

If you're thinking that actor looks familiar, its cause he was the son in War of the Worlds. All I remember from his role in that was, how the hell did he get all the way to his mom's house in boston so fast. Especially after he got essploded. Apparently he also stared in Superbabies:2 which went straight to Dvd, so goodluck with one of the most respected and well known characters in anime history. What a fail.

Lord Piccolo

Now, apart of the first one, I think they Actually did well this time around. James Marsters, otherwise known as badass dude in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series will take the role of piccolo. He also was in smallville, has a band, and just straight up looks the part.

The difference here is we at least know the dude has history in beating people up, and reminds me of Billy idol. Well done.

Masta Roshi

Fuck yeah. Chow freakin Yun fat. If you don't know who this chikidy chinese warrior is, then stab yourself in the chest elliot smith style, cause this guy is a fighting legend. The image below of him isn't even from the movie, so we already know that he fits the part in everyway.

Dude is more well known for in North America for Crouching tiger, bulletproof monk, and even Pirates of the caribean 3, but apparently has made like a thousand movies in asia. What a hero.

Bulma

Well, I don't know too much about bulma, besides knowing that she invented the thing that locates the dragonballz, but what I do know is that it was extremely difficult finding a picture of her not naked on google. She will be played by the sexay Emma Rossum who was in Day after Tomorrow and some other crap, but nobody cares cause all girls have to do in action movies is be hot.

Theres some other people, but they dont matter enough for me to make opinions on them.

So Besides boy goku the actor front isn't entirely bad, but I still don't understand how theyre going to make 10 minute zoomed in face twitching action interrupting soliloquys translate to film.

We'll have to wait and see.

Funk Fanatico

im addicted to writing movie scenes that I plot out in my head. I'll be doing a special on a couple upcoming movies in the near future, but here's one more scene till then, in a new series "Funk Fanatico" Btw, I was thinking about it for awhile and realized cities that allow Super heroes must be affiliated with capital punishment, cause those heroes are allowed to murder so many people. Heath Ledger didnt deserve it batman and neither did september 11th.

Funk Fanatico

Yits lines up behind a large crowd at thee "All out Fighting competition of the Sherwood community".

Looking around at all the people, he notices familiar faces, such as his neighbor Mr.Watts who is dressed in a full tight black suit, or Mrs.Carol, his 8th grade teacher, who is war screaming in preperation. Some of his friends are there too, but further ahead in line, so he doesn't move up and risk losing his spot, even though everyone gets entered.

The fighting competition takes place every year in the neighborhood community hall gymnasium, to find out who is the toughest and most respected of the sherwooders, with the winner usually walking away with a stick of ham and a couple of free movie tickets/game rentals.

Usually about 40 people take part in the competition per year from 6 year old boys to stray dogs, but this year, Sherwood had its outside commune thomsville join in, raking in an extra 17 people.

Yits ponders around in line, wondering if he should do this, only to look ahead and realize he is next to sign up. Up at the front there is a very large hairy man sitting at the booth with a couple pieces of paper and an evil tatoo on his face. Yits backs up slowly in fear before he bumps into a man in a radish costume and is pushed forward all the way up to the counter. The man looks up and begins to speak in a low growling voice.

Mulrey-You here for the sign up?

Yits- yeah.....I guess so..

Mulrey- Name?

Yits- Yits Rasinburry

Mulrey- Age?

Yits- 18

Mulrey- Weapon?

Yits- wait wait, we're allowed weapons?

Mulrey- You bet your titties we are.

Yits- oh god.......umm alright well.......axe?

Mulrey- axe? alright axe it is. Now tell me Yits, how many skills are you?

Yits- How many skills am I? What do you mean by that? Do you mean what skills do I have?

Mulrey- No you fuck on fire, how many skills are you?

Yits- I dunno..? 3? I am 3 skills?

Mulrey- Are you kidding me? You are 3 skills?

Yits- Well I dont know, how many skills are you?

Mulrey- I am the skills that kills

Yits- Whats that?

Mulrey- Well it means that I hold the sole crystal power of Gixnaxmi, allowing me to crush my foes with the easiests of manuvers, both embarresing them, and making me more powerful.

Yits- I'm not sure what all that means, but just put me down as "skills that kills" too

Mulrey- Two kills huh? I can't wait to finally doom my long awaited rival.

Yits- You arent going to hurt me are you?

Mulrey- Oh im gonna cut your fuckin head off


END

Hilarious

A perfect example of what I find hilarious

"The cafe"

I don't know why I wrote this. It will make you feel ill inside, like im feeling right now. Have fun.

A Tall Man in shorts and raincoat walks into a cafe, and scans the room. The place is full, but there is a pretty woman sitting by herself in the corner eating a danish and reading a white piece of paper. There is loud chatter, and music playing soflty in the background. He approaches her table.

Toobs-Hey, can I eat a piece of your cookie with you?

Mabes-Excuse me?

Toobs- Yeah, just noticed you were eating that cookie, and id like to share it with you. I'll nible on one side, and you can have the rest. Bargain.

Mabes-umm, no

Toobs- It's probably rotten anyways. I can't believe you keep eating it cause that would be sick if you bit it one more time infront of me. You're a big fat pig though, so who knows what you'll do next.

She attempts to get up; he stops her

Toobs- Wait, wait....im sorry..........sorry... I'm just a little stressed out this week. My car exploded and I just need someone to talk to. You understand right? We've all been there. Please sit.

He smiles genuinely. She sits back down.

Toobs- So what's that piece of paper there, are you writing me a secret love note, or perhaps a photo colage? Oh I know, I bet you're reading a book on climbing. Do you know what that is? Pass it quick before anyone sees, I'll have a quick read.

She pretends to smile, but her eyes are filled with fear

Mabes- I think I have to go, but it was nice talking to you

She gets up and quickly scuttles for the door, exiting the cafe. The man smiles.
There is a pop machine up against side wall with a young male standing infront of it, pondering his choice.The young boy puts his money into the machine, but still remains undecided. The man walks up to him.

Toobs- How much money did you put in?

Piper- A dollar, why?

Toobs- I have two dollars

Piper- So?

Toobs- I'm two times better. Pick this one.

The man blindly slams his hand into one of the machines buttons, prompting a diet rootbeer to fall from the bottom

Piper- HEY! Why'd you do that? I didn't want that one!

Toobs- I wanted it. I broke my toe doing that and am unable to speak to you any further.

The man shotguns the diet rootbeer and leans forward against a table, Shifting it forward and causing him to fall down. Peeking around again, he spots a couple of guys sitting nearby, laughing about old times. He approaches.

Toobs- Hey studs, I'm reporter for the daily ruble, could I ask for a minute of your time to answer some questions about the city?

The two men stare at each other and smile.

Prix- Alright, we have a minute, fire away.

Toobs- Cool, cats. First question regards the balance between liquids and solids in our municipality.

Yem- What do you mean?

Toobs- I mean like do you prefer sodas, or meats? Are you guys assholes? Cause it really sounds like you're a couple of jackasses right?

Prix-Buddy, do you want to get your ass kicked?

Toobs- You couldn't kick my ass, you look like a weak female, who is ugly and has a mouth filled with mucus.

Yem starts laughing ans shaking his head in a "you're just asking for it" way

Prix- That's it guy, lets go outside.

The man and his friend get up, pulling the man in the raincoat towards the door.

Toobs- Unhand me captors. This is beyond rude. I'm not frequent.

They open the door and pull him outside onto the sidewalk. There are cars going by and the sky is grey.

Toobs- I'm afraid you've made a sacred mistake, and will have to pay for your intrusion.

The man in the raincoat reaches his right hand into his inside pocket. The two men back up.

Toobs- Climax, engaged.

omg

this will steal 7 minutes if your life, but this is what happens in north korea

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GwKWttrEaSM

Television's greatest network YTV (years 1995-2000)

If you asked me how many show's I watched as a kid, I would prolly burp under my breathe and frown. Alot of mongrels ended up sticking to family channel, or maybe the new and hip "Teletoon" that just hit the market at the time. But me you ask?............I was watching the prime time.Sucka what!

So many great shows to name like hey arnorld, pochemonz, rugrats, big comfy couch, kitty cats!, Video and Arcade top 10 and freakin reboot...

even UH OH was fucking hilarious! HAHAHA UH OH!!!!!!!! and then kane would spit/poop his own slime into the glass thing. The type of disrespect that dude had really just grossed me out. He didn't need his bucket of green gobly goops to do that.

Ytv also got me in touch with my personal side. If you all remember, right after Sailor moon on saturday mornings, they had this show called "Bare-butts" and it was 2 hours of just naked butts. That show had the best theme song though. "Bare-butts bare-butts, whats that quack? Air-butts my bare-butts, accomplished attack."

They also had a show called "Unleash the pain" which was a thousand times scarier then goosebumps/freaky stories/are you afraid of dark?/ and hell combined. Basically they would show off a series of really terrifying pictures of creatures from across the world, like the one below. God that show just made me shit my pants over and out captain.

A couple of the other shows that get the honorable mention were the "Cat adventure's of Zelda"He friken died in the first episode, and then they just filmed his face for the next three seasons. I think sometime in season 2, one of his ears fell off, but ill have to to look it up again.

Then there was that ugly little girl "Shmetlik Blench" who could eat a bunch of pizza's in under 2 minutes. It wasn't very interesting, but it always got hilarious everytime she'd throw up and start screaming.

YTV changed my life, and ethnic background. It was the first broadcast station to actually feature people trying to succeed at life, and introduced our hollywood love Mike Modano.

With all this greatest, what could make a guy like me stop watching..........?It was that baby talking harpy siren sexy sasafrass Stephanie Beard. Do not be fooled by her striking good looks, for this demon-soul is literally 2 feet tall (Otherwise known as a leprachaun) and has the voice of what you would describe as a baby filled with helium who is chewing bubbles.

Ever since the day she joined, they cancelled all the good shows, or ruined the ones that existed.

I hate you Stephanie beard, and I hope when you're pregnant and your stomach grows big, that someone elbow drops it full on and beheads your baby.

im angry, and im out.