How to tell if you're transforming into a monster

People transform into monsters all the time. Get over it. Most dudes just end up waking up a zombie in the later years anyways, eating brains and the homo kind, but we've invented things like restraining orders/fire dept to solve these issues. Besides that, we must try and seek what type of signs show up to inform you your transformation is occuring.

There are many and here they are:

1. You start smelling like poo a.k.a. "urination". It might be that you haven't taken a shower in a week, or dueced your pants, or maybe you're a vampire and from what ive heard, being a vampire sucks ass bro.

2. You choose to headbutt people as a preferred method to injure/harm/converse. It's a very underrated type of manuvere, but if delivered correctly and strategically, you can bruise a dude pretty good on the top of his kopf. I once headbutted El Diablo in the head, and that dude went silencio for 6 months.

3. People will begin to call you by the shortened form of your name. For instance a woman named "samantha" would be called "sam" and a man named "Bill" would be then called "Bi" which means he also like to bang guys, and not only is that a burn, its rather greedy.

4. You will have the craving to steal and commit crimes. Look at frankenstien for instance, cause that bag of balls stole everything from vcr's to audi's. Werewolves are constantly shitting in public and just imagine the size of godzilla's shit. Snake's are pretty illegal, and same with sharks, so i don't even understand why we allow those to remain active parts of our society today. Zoo's alone should just go to jail.

5. You will get shot more often. If people don't like the way you look, they will usually shoot you pretty quick. (examples. Hitler, Louis Riel, Voldemorte) That humpback of noter-gay got shot when he died didn't he? and that ended miserable and heartbroken. I always thought a hump was cool, cause its like reverse preggerz, or like a ninja turtle shell, but in reality it makes trying to sleep harder then the holocaust. (thats what she said)
6. Finally if you're the type of person to not let out a warning before you sneeze, then you've been a monster you're entire life. Above is wang sneezing into the blackness of her soul. Call me in 5 years when you grow up, and even then I might not pick up. Look how much she's sneezing, fuck off wang. Even I can't sneeze more then this bitch, and i'm a smug piece of shit.

These guidelines are very accurate,precise and very very proven, so watch for them in your daily life and if you don't, constantly question if you're an idiot.

ps. my favorite monster is thee El Chupacabra

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